painful 5 months!!

(first wrote on the 7th July 2018)

Got no idea what I’m saying!

Having nothing to do all day and that got me thinking. You know how that goes. Haha!
For about five months now, I can feel myself getting progressively worse, and I got no answers.  So frustrating!!
Started off with the wheelchair, I have been in a manual chair since 2010, that’s eight years now, (I think) and today my chair doesn’t feel like my chair anymore. Now a wheelchair is like any equipment, over time that will be apart of the person.  Today, my chair consistently changes sizes, (i know that is all in my head), imaging if you shoes keep on changing, you would never get used to them and have to change the way you walking per step. For me, a simple task of pushing myself, something a daily activity is now becoming alienating to me, and I can’t tell you how that feels. Makes me have awful back pain.  I think this is the worst pain on my back I had in years and I believe my chair been too small.
Good note I’m going to see someone next Friday, to get measured up for a new chair!!
On top of everything! Now my knee has gotten to be the point where I can barely hold myself up. Every second I’m transferring, I keep on thinking that my knee is going to give up on me and I am going to have a greeting with the floor.
Really quick:   my back and knee have gotten painful to the point where I would struggle to get up in the mornings now. Doesn’t help that I often have something going on early in the morning, ether ‘work’ or family.
 I now really hate getting up in the morning as is SO PAINFUL now!
The worse part of all this is I got no idea where to attempt to get some answers, I said somewhere on this site that my physical health is going downhill.  I just never imagen is going to be this soon!

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